I’m a firm believer that your party experience is determined by four things: the amount of drinks you have, the people you’re surrounded by, the friends you went with and whether or not you break your ankle. The type of people that surround you is the most important factor because I highly doubt you would opt to go out with people you don’t like. Knowing how important people are to enjoying a party I have compiled a list of people I party with. There are two categories. People I enjoy partying with and people I hate, I mean people I hate partying with.

People I Love to Party With:

Hipsters

An example of a “Hipster”
Taken at Jozi Craft Beer Fest 2012, Greenside

Definition: 
Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence and witty banter. (Urban Dictionary, 2007)

Characteristics: 

– Hipsters technically don’t have typical characteristics because then they’d fit into categories and categories are mainstream.
– They listen to bands you have never heard of. Have you heard: Friendly Fires, The Middle East, Air Drops, Yo Grapes, Beach Party, Group Love, Cold War Kids, Blood Orange, The Decemberists and Iron and Wine? If you recognise two or more of these bands then you still might not be a hipster because those acts are mainstream.
– Hipsters are identified because of the way they dress, see picture.
– All hipsters own Apple products because Apple has free give-aways for them   I’d like to believe this.
– They instagram and/or have a range of cameras including cameras under the brands of Polaroid and Lomography
– They spend a good amount of time blogging on websites like Tumblr and posting pictures on Lookbook.

Why are they Awesome to Party With?
– Hipsters mostly dress well, this makes me happy; the exceptions are those camel-toe displaying girls in their high-waisted cut-off jean shorts, they make me angry. 
– Parties with hipsters consist of high-quality alcohol. The range includes large amounts of El Jimador Tequila and craft beers.
– There is nearly always good food. Sometimes I go to the parties because of the food   yes, I’m a foodie.
– The noise heard will primarily be of people trying to have intelligent conversations over groovy 80’s pop-synth or indie music.
– I like partying with them because of all those reasons: the clothes, the food, the alcohol, the random music and the attempts at intelligent conversation.
– Hipsters party with an organised recklessness, there is never chaos, there are never fights and everyone is just there to have a jam.

Where to Find Them?
South Africa: If I told you that then those places would become mainstream and then I’d become angry.
New York, USA: Greenwich and Brooklyn.
Las Vegas, USA: Downtown Las Vegas and events like First Friday Las Vegas.

Electroheads

We like glow sticks
Taken at the Tomorrow Never Happened Presents the “Internet Troll Party”, Arcade Empire, Pretoria

Definition:
A group of people that believe that going to parties with electronic dance music (EDM) is the only way to party. These individuals are young, in their 20’s and appreciate discovering new acts. They also do not think Skrillex = Dubstep.

Charecteristics:

– Electroheads can typically be seen wearing outfits from simple jeans and graphic t-shirts in the case of the guys to seriously short skirts for the girls. The only thing the girls and guys have in common is their choice of footwear which will be shoes made for stomping e.g. Doc Martens or All-Stars. Girls that come wearing sandals never make that mistake again.
– Events featuring electroheads could be confused with rock concerts as all attention is focused to the stage where a DJ is situated and electroheads do a range of dance moves from head-banging to electro moshing.
– Although they are aware of artists producing mainstream EDM music they will more likely appreciate other acts like: Knife Party, Dirtyloud, Hypomaniacs, HAEZER, Double-Adapter, Zedd, Niskerone, Blush n Bass and Das Kapital.

Why are they Awesome to Party With?
– There are simply no boundaries at these parties because everything is accepted. Going to these parties is breaking out of your ordinary life.
– I go to these parties because I love electro. It’s one of my favourite genres of music because it makes me amped for everything. I’m never the only one that feels this way and thus the party is that much crazier.
– Be wary, there is always a guy in a white t-shirt that electro moshes right in front of you. It’s always a white t-shirt and if it’s happening then let other people in front of you so they can get hit.

Where to Find Them?

– Arcade Empire (Pretoria)

– Alex Theatre (Newtown, Johannesburg)
– Town Hall (Newtown, Johannesburg)
– The Assembly (Cape Town)
– The Red Bull Stage at Oppikoppi Festival
The People that Lie in Between

I think they like these guys.
Picture of aKing, taken at Jozifest 2012, Newtown.

Definition: 
The people that lie in between are characterised by fitting their lives into three spheres: hipsters, electroheads and rock stars.

Characteristics
– They are foodies but will settle for KFC on most nights.
– They like electro but do not love it. Their music interests lie primarily in South African live music acts like: Zebra & Giraffe, Yesterday’s Pupil, aKing, P.H. Fat and Jeremy Loops.
– They can party anywhere but do not have a major preference for electro gigs or hipster events. They also don’t think Hatfield Square is where souls go to die.

– They cannot be identified by their clothes because normal clothes do not stand out.
– Most have an ability to speak Afrikaans.
– They primarily listen to Tuks FM and 5FM.
Why are they Awesome to Party With?
– They are rowdy and can start a party anywhere.
– Car-bars
– I can make them come with me where ever I go and they’ll still have fun.
Where to Find Them?
– Hotbox Studios (Pretoria)
– Arcade Empire (Pretoria)
People I Hate Partying With:

H2O People (Jocks and Whores)

I don’t see dead people. I see trashy people.
Taken at Deadmau5 – JHB 2011, H2O, Boksburg.

You might already be aware of what an incredible time I had at H2O when I went to watch Deadmau5. It is an infamous event that will remain burned into many minds. Read this article to understand why I hate people that go to H2O. Afrojack is coming to South Africa later this year. I will not attend his Joburg concert if it’s anywhere near Boksburg. I have developed a rational hate and it’s extended to people that go to places like Tiger Tiger and this new place called Avastar Nightclub. 

What Do I Hate?
– I hate jocks.
– I hate slutty girls that wear make-up so thick it could double as a new form of sunscreen.
– I hate wearing platform heels that kill my feet and wearing trashy make-up. I don’t have to live life like it’s Jersey Shore.
– I hate being around people who love all of the above.

Ratfield Square People

Possibly the filthiest courtyard in the world.
Taken at RAG 2010, Hatfield Square, Pretoria.

I hate two venues in the Gauteng Region. The first is H2O, and the second is Hatfield Square. It is located near the University of Pretoria and about 6 high schools in Pretoria. It’s important that I mention what it’s close to because it becomes the partying grounds for first-year students and high-school “learners”. That is already a problem because it’s possible to out-grow the square within your second year of partying there. 

What Do I Hate? 
– I hate seeing people projectile vomiting.
– I hate knowing that I’m likely walking in dried-up vomit.
– I hate the Square because it makes me feel old. 
– I hate that the Square is dirty. I go to the Square with anti-bacterial hand gel and still come back feeling grimy. 
– I hate seeing fights. 
– I hate that it gets so full during major events.

Hippies

There’s no simple way to put this. I don’t like hippies. Sowing the Seeds – JHB, earlier on this year was almost a traumatic experience for me because there were so many hippies. This feeling is hard to describe but it’s related to not being able to drink or even party because you have seen something that has upset you to a degree. I had that because there were tons of hippies frothing at the mouth under a table or two, rolling down hills into stinky mud, sleeping in front of stages and not being able to talk because they were high on something. I guess I should rather say that I don’t like seeing people on drugs, I’ve been to Oppi but I’ve never seen anything like that. I love music festivals but it is unlikely that I will ever be able to go to a psy-trance music festival because I will be overwhelmed.

What Do I Hate?
– I hate people running around with bare-feet. Hippies love this! Put on your shoes! 
– I hate it when people constantly wear dirty clothes and look dirty. Please go stand in the rain or in someone’s sprinkler system and get clean.
– I hate the culture of doing drugs which is so prevalent with hippies.
– The Oslen Twins ruined your boho style. I can’t stand it.
– I hate getting confused for being a weed-smoking hippie when I have braids in my hair. 
– There are few genres of music I don’t like. Psy-trance and minimal house feature in that category and hippies love it!

That’s it. I hope you make wise party people choices or else you will develop hates parallel to mine. Otherwise, I’ll check you at events featuring the first three groups!
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