|From Regulus Star Notes|
For those of you who know me, my surname is hard to place. This is because the other half of my genes were Fedex’d all the way from East Africa; Uganda to be exact. Tomorrow I embark on the journey to my homeland as part of an undercover mission to catch Kony. I thought I’d shed some light on how much homework goes into preparing for a trip to an African country not located in the south.
Because the last time I left the country I could barely write in cursive I was not aware that my passport had expired. With a heavy heart I made a tedious trip to Home Affairs where I discovered that documentation confirming your citizenship costs you 400 big ones. I was and still am mortified. On the bright side Home Affairs has improved its service delivery; within two weeks I had my new passport with uber cool 3D effects and ten years worth of peace of mind. One point to you Home Affairs.
The next hurdle was the medical preparation that goes into travelling to equatorial east Africa: the threat of Yellow Fever and Malaria. I’m aware that the Mayans believe that this year is our last. But in case it isn’t I’d like to return home sans life-threatening diseases. If you’re from Pretoria, the Jakaranda Hospital Travel Clinic will provide you with Yellow Fever vaccine. If you’re not from Pretoria I can’t help you. No one can. You’re likely to catch this disease and meet your end. This delightful clinic also provides Malaria prevention treatment in the form of tablets taken once a week for six weeks. The most exciting bit about all of this is the ridiculous number of Tabard bottles I’m taking with. I’ve pictured my demise, and quite frankly it isn’t at the hand of mosquitoes. The clinic doctor also advised me to preferably drink and make use of bottled water. When we land I have a hunch that our first stop will be to the nearest grocery store for bottles and bottles of it.
In terms of fashion this excursion is a fail. Despite the warm climate I was warned by my father to cover up. Long shirts and jeans are the order of the vacation. All photos taken of me will be of the neck upwards. Bite me! I’ll choose health over fashion every time.
As this is my first voyage to the land of my forefathers I’m nervous but the overwhelming feeling is ELATION: Uganda (like Durban) has no real concept of winter! I type this with tears of joy in my eyes. See y’all in two weeks!