Fact 2: The guys camping with Drop Your Drink are going to have the best campsite.
We’re pretty obsessed with Oppikoppi Festival. Obsessed doesn’t cover half of it which is why every week we’ve been featuring the Oppikoppi Music Festival Closet series. The Closet series in its purest form is clothing tips and outfits looks you could wear at Oppikoppi, if you care about what you look like.
The first two Oppikoppi Music Festival Closet Series:
– Oppikoppi Music Festival Closet (Part 1, Women’s Clothing)
– Oppikoppi Music Festival Closet (Part 2, Men’s Clothing)
This week I thought we’d do something different and cover camping gear. It’s a feature about what’s cool and what’s not.
1. Pop-Up Tents
The “Pop-Up Tent” is also known as the “Instant Tent” or the “2-Second Tent”. It requires you to remove the tent cover, remove the band that holds the tent together, hurl it into the air at light speed and make sure it’s the right side up because the tent opens on its own. There is none of that pole rubbish and it means if I’m trying to set up my tent in the darkness because I got drunk on the way to Oppikoppi, decided to carry on drinking and eventually got lost trying to find my campsite then the only difficulty I’d have with my tent is opening the zip to climb inside and perhaps sleeping in it upside down. I made a commitment to buying this tent because of Sowing the Seeds. We arrived at Sowing the Seeds at night because we got lost. When we were struggling to work on the second tent these bitches, who I’m now friends with and will likely be camping next to at Oppikoppi, brought out a pop-up tent, threw it in the air, lay it down, threw their stuff in and went toward the music. I’m still pissed about that.
The only thing that sucks about the tent is trying to put it away if you don’t know how to. If you get one (preferably get it from Makro because it’s the cheapest there and there are two sizes) then make sure you watch Youtube videos on how to fold it. It’s simple once you know and because I’m competing in tent-folding at the Olympics I practise on some nights*.
*That has nothing to do with the fact that I set up my tent on my bed or in the garden and drink beer.
2. Thermoelectric boots
Oppikoppi does have a mobile charging station but you need to bring your charger to charge your phone, camera, rechargeable batteries or vibrator. The guys at Orange developed a set of wellingtons (gum boots) that charge your phone based on temperature differences between your hot, sweaty foot at the cold ground. For a nerd like me this just gets me going. Although the technology is a bit far off because it takes about 12 hours of wearing the boots to charge your phone for an hour I think it’s a brilliant idea.
Sleeping bag + Jumpsuit = Selk’Bag. I think this thing is essential for Oppikoppi because it can keep you warm while you party at night and you can pass out anywhere you like. The only thing it won’t protect you from is face-planting into a thorn bush because you decided to pass out on it. They are available in South Africa but for R1500 I don’t think they’re worth it. R1500 = A pop-up tent + a thermal rated sleeping bag + a tiki torch to find your damn tent + money to get someone to carry you back to your tent.
4. Funky Coloured Flames
This is rated as one of the most stupid camping products ever created but I think it’s cool. Funky Coloured Flames are created by hurling crystals into a fire and watching as they burn with different colours. Imagine seeing a fire like that at night while you were drunk or high? Preferably drunk* though because then you won’t try to touch it.
*Some members of Drop Your Drink hate drugs because drugs remind them of hippies. Kids, don’t do drugs.
1. Meat Water
I thought this was a cruel joke when I saw it featured on a camping website. Meat Water is like Vitamin Water, only it’s flavoured water infused with protein and flavours like: Grilled Chicken Salad, Fish ‘n Chips, Liverwurst Sandwich, Haggis, Kenyan Beef Stew, Escargots, Stuffed Quail and Cheese Burger (click here for the complete list). My stomach is already churning.